Almost 7:00, west North Dakota, Iron Claw Mountains, Stranger by the River...
Yes, today I woke up at almost 7:00, having slept all night, but not soundly. I first awakened at 4:20, fell back to sleep around 5:00, then again until 6:30, followed by a bunch of little cat naps -- Ambien works! Or finally worked, or came close to working -- I think d/c'ing the Abilify might have a marked effect on my insomnia. I'd be a little reluctant to try that, though: a lot of my non-blog writing has returned to the style for which Will Veeder dubbed me "the Shakespeare of science fiction", & had it not become so entrenched in weed & ultimately acid, I could've...
...naw. My mental illness had manifested itself a long time before I touched mind-altering drugs. What really kicked it in was the acute exacerbations of VADIS. I hope the Vast Active Destructive Intelligence System goes to her grave with guilt over how her Serenity (co-ed fraternity) treated me. "The Glaucoma Fairy": yeah, right, Ruth, that's very funny. My great-grandfather died when his eyes hemorrhaged & he bled to death, & you allowed people at your party to discuss, not only this, but an account of molestation some idiot deliberately read while entering my room -- as usual, unlocked, like everyone else's -- rifle thru my personal space, & read this stuff, just to have negative things to say about me, all because I "obsessed" with VADIS, when all I really just simply wanted was to have someone to talk to about my illness.
I did a lot of that, yesterday -- usual day for me & Car-girl to ride out to the Iron Claws, while drinking a lemon-flavored Diet Mr. Fruity from the Bear Creek Drive-In. We proceeded to Pizza Hut, where Trish introduced me to some waitress. She shook my hand, & then I left, not really knowing what to do or say. D. wasn't there, which disappointed me.
& I disappointed myself: after Trish left for work, all I did was watch a vid-flick & exasperate VADIS. I'd planned, instead, to flesh out scene #1 in the Trinities novel -- no, I don't think it should be a trilogy. Not at this point.
Once Car-girl had us back home & Trish took her shower, I went downstairs, to save on the a/c bill, watched Madonna 93-99, & called Keith, about his cancer -- they don't know if he has it yet; they have to run some tests in the City of Electric Light.
Trish fixed supper, for a change: burritos & Spanish rice. After supper we went to Albertson's for more Mr. Fruity & some light-bulbs. Watched Who's the Boss? & the Diddlies of Hazard: Luke & Bo Diddley.
Sleep came down, & 7:00...
Am thinking, when the Seroquel is gone, of replacing the Abilify with stelazine or thorazine. Or anything that doesn't cause weight-gain. Geodon? Worried about the aggression side-effects. It might screw up our marriage even worse than the Kimothy Leery stuff.
See you tomorrow,
Lead
...naw. My mental illness had manifested itself a long time before I touched mind-altering drugs. What really kicked it in was the acute exacerbations of VADIS. I hope the Vast Active Destructive Intelligence System goes to her grave with guilt over how her Serenity (co-ed fraternity) treated me. "The Glaucoma Fairy": yeah, right, Ruth, that's very funny. My great-grandfather died when his eyes hemorrhaged & he bled to death, & you allowed people at your party to discuss, not only this, but an account of molestation some idiot deliberately read while entering my room -- as usual, unlocked, like everyone else's -- rifle thru my personal space, & read this stuff, just to have negative things to say about me, all because I "obsessed" with VADIS, when all I really just simply wanted was to have someone to talk to about my illness.
I did a lot of that, yesterday -- usual day for me & Car-girl to ride out to the Iron Claws, while drinking a lemon-flavored Diet Mr. Fruity from the Bear Creek Drive-In. We proceeded to Pizza Hut, where Trish introduced me to some waitress. She shook my hand, & then I left, not really knowing what to do or say. D. wasn't there, which disappointed me.
& I disappointed myself: after Trish left for work, all I did was watch a vid-flick & exasperate VADIS. I'd planned, instead, to flesh out scene #1 in the Trinities novel -- no, I don't think it should be a trilogy. Not at this point.
Once Car-girl had us back home & Trish took her shower, I went downstairs, to save on the a/c bill, watched Madonna 93-99, & called Keith, about his cancer -- they don't know if he has it yet; they have to run some tests in the City of Electric Light.
Trish fixed supper, for a change: burritos & Spanish rice. After supper we went to Albertson's for more Mr. Fruity & some light-bulbs. Watched Who's the Boss? & the Diddlies of Hazard: Luke & Bo Diddley.
Sleep came down, & 7:00...
Am thinking, when the Seroquel is gone, of replacing the Abilify with stelazine or thorazine. Or anything that doesn't cause weight-gain. Geodon? Worried about the aggression side-effects. It might screw up our marriage even worse than the Kimothy Leery stuff.
See you tomorrow,
Lead
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